Friday, September 23, 2016

X-Men vs. Avengers ... in Green!

Antman will jump on to Xman superskrull, and order his ants to keep biting Avengers superskrull. From his position on Xman superskrull, he will then shout insults toward the Avengers superskrull.

And when the inevitable fist comes, he will dodge away (leaping with the proportionate strength of a man) and jump to Avenger superskrull's nose, while (so he hopes) Avengerskrull is pounding Xmanskrull.

"Ha!" says X-Men Super-Skrull. "I possess the power of Professor X, who totally counts as an X-Man! He was in issue 1! He had a costume, briefly. His name even STARTS with an X! So he counts as an X-Man, and therefore I have his power, that being telepathy, and therefore I know what you are trying to do, Ant-Man! So you will fail, because ..."

KA-PUNCH!

X-Men Super-Skrull has the fortitude of Colossus and the healing power of Wolverine. But he's being punched by the equivalent of Thor wearing Iron Man's gloves with the combat mastery of Captain America while Hulking out. And he has a bow and arrow.

I think all observers would agree that were Colossus and Wolverine to be punched by Thor, Iron Man, Captain America and the Hulk, that the mutants in question would be clobbered to the greatest degree of clobbering permitted by law. Of physics.

X-Men Super-Skrull is So Very Down.

Avengers Super-Skrull, however, lowers his density to near-zero, causing Ant-Man to fall through his nose, into his chest, and then down to the ground between his feet.

And he quickly STOMPS Ant-Man with the fury of the Hulk, the might of Thor, the martial arts mastery of Captain America, and a torn, short-circuited boot that still WEIGHS, at least, as much as Iron Man's!

Meanwhile ...

Spider-Man asks the Mindgem who has what infinity gem, and where each gem-holder currently is.

Spidey suddenly KNOWS, as though remembering something he has always known, that

The RED Wrathstone is on Hala, capital of the Kree Empire, in the Red Skull's brow.
The ORANGE Soulstone is on Counter-Earth, on the other side of the Sun, within John Jameson's brow.
The YELLOW Mindgem is on Mordemond, Thanos' ramshackle Frankenstein deathworld, in Spider-Man's hand. (He already kinda knew that one!)
The GREEN Willstone is on Hala, around the Scarlet Witch's wrist.
The BLUE Tesseract, the Space-Stone, is on Hala, in the Red Skull's left hand, being buffeted by a gale-force wind.
The PURPLE Heartstone is on Hala, in Star-Lord's hand. He's parrying the Skull's attempts to kill the Scarlet Witch and Storm.

2 comments:

  1. ANT MAN

    As he is about to be crushed, Ant Man grows to giant size, grabbing the descending foot as he does so. With one hand about the foot of Avengersuperskrull, he pounds the Avengerskrull into the ground like a tentpeg.

    And he sends ants up his nose, and swarming in front of his eyes to blind him.

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  2. SPIDER MAN

    Spiderman asks the mind gem to establish a mind-link between all the members of the Ad Hoc Coalition of Champions to allow them to send mental messages to any other member of the party (and only that: no mixing of thoughts or memories).

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