Beyond the Gates of Infinity

"Spidey, grab the gem, and I will grab the Battlebeast!" says Ant Man. Then, Ant Man picks up Battlebeast with his gigantic hand and throws him like a baseball at Xxan Xxar.

Dazed from cosmic awareness, Spiderman now realizes in his visualization of the cosmic all, his life really, really sucks. Even compared to the entire universe.

Spiderman uses his spider-senses to spider-dodge Battlebeast. Since he can dodge bullets, he can probably dodge a club. "Here, doggie! Here boy! Fetch the giant fist! GET HIM ANT MAN!"

At the same time, he webs the mind gem and yanks it to his sticky spider fingers.

And at the same time without looking, guiding his shot with his spider senses, Spiderman shoots webbing into the face of Gorgax, to make an opaque bag over his head.

Spider-Man certainly does maintain his optimism in the face of cosmic evidence that he's destiny's janitor, doesn't he?

And it's times like this, where he accomplishes three breathtakingly precise athletic feats while successfully taunting a non-human intelligence, that KEEP him optimistic!

Because all goes as hastily planned: Spider-Man drops a sticky bag over Gorgax' head, avoids Battle Beast's Battle Bat (it's a club, but somewhat baseball-bat-shaped), and snatches up the Mind Gem into his sticky fingers.

WHUMP! Ant-Man knocks Battle Beast into Xxan Xxar, who shields himself with the coil of magnetic adhesive wire he was using to gather the broken bits of his ant-confusion array. Battle Beast does not bounce off the net of wire, nor appreciably slow down. Xxan Xxar and Battle Beast are thumped, hard. Battle Beast arises slowly, shaking his black-striped white mane to clear his head. Xxan Xxar doesn't arise at all. He's out.

But, y'know, True Believers, optimism ain't always all it's cracked up to be. Because Spider-Man has seen, as well as felt inside his mind, exactly what happens when you touch the Mind Gem. And then he touches the Mind Gem.

What do you imagine happens?

That's right! EXACTLY what Spider-Man saw happen last time!

Spidey feels a flood of knowledge fill his mind to overflowing, only to be washed away by another flood of knowledge. By dint of supreme intellectual effort, the brilliant brain that Flash Thompson has mocked so many times absorbs the wisdom of the cosmos, sorting and categorizing and drawing conclusions which make all the phenomenal data revealed by the Mind Gem suddenly make clear, conclusive sense! The structure, nay, the very MEANING of the Macrocosmic All of which our universe is merely a glimmer in the reflection of the outermost facet of the cosmic snowflake, lies revealed, tantalyzingly close!

And then, of course, the flood of connections and meanings of EVERYTHING ELSE hits Spider-Man's mind, which is borne downstream like a poker chip in a tsunami. Spider-Man briefly bounces in a mental eddy, during which he understands everything there is to know about a retail establishment on the 99th floor of a minor suburb of the Kree city of Maintainopolis (motto: We Built This City on Following the Checklist!), before that, too, is whirled away on the torrent of knowledge.

But Spider-Man is not, himself, an effortless telepath of high attainment. So Ant-Man, the sightless Gorgax, and the thousands of other inhabitants of Mordemond are spared sharing Spidey's shattering scholastic struggle!

Spider-Man has left the building. And the planet the building sits upon.

But hey, Mind Gem!

Battle Beast takes a moment to clear his head. He's not a problem.

However, Ant-Man finds himself assailed by a massively muscled Skrull in a powered armor suit, who uses a mighty Uru hammer to strike a striped vibranium shield, propelling it even faster with paired repulsor rays while bellowing SKRULL SMASH!

Yes, if you've ever wondered what the Hulk would look like if he were WEARING the Hulkbuster suit, wonder no more!