Using his spider-senses and spider-reflexes, Spidey dodges the webline shot at him from Super-skrull. The Super-Skrull has had these powers for a few days, whereas Spider-Man ... listen, bud. He's got radioactive blood!
Spidey then webs the Super-Skrull. The Skrull turns invisible, but the danger radiating from him pings Spidey's spider-sense at a distinguishable angle, so the invisibility gambit does not help.
"I have all your powers, Earthspider!" boasts the Skrull. "I know not what name your collection of champions boasts -- I saw an X-Man (although female, she is not called an X-Woman), three Avengers, a member of the FOUL ACCURSED SPIT NASTY ACK ARGH URRCCCH Fantastic Four, and ... you, the Spider-Man."
"So I have the strength to tear out of this webbing, in the same manner as ... that is ... the member of your ad-hoc team who possesses super-strength. Which every team has. Some have several."
And he tugs, tugs, tugs on the webbing, which not only doesn't break, but sticks to his hands.
"Aargh! I possess the strength of Spider-Man! How can it be that Spider-Man cannot tear his own webbing?"
Spidey flips from a standing position and kicks the Skrull in the head with both feet.
"Arachnid fool! I have the resilience and invulnerability of the Scarlet Witch, the unbreakable skin of Ant-Man, the stamina and independent fortitude of the Invisible Girl ... the very endurance of Storm, Mutant Mistress of the Elements! I cannot be harmed by such puny acrobatic attacks as you can offer ... though I am greived by personal problems, including the dire medical state of my senior-progenitor Anndme, the potential discovery of my dissembling to my candidate life-partner M'arr Eejn, the wrath of my unsuspected employer J-mission, and my inability to stand up to the bullying of Flashtar, the Super-Skrull who has all the powers of the Fantastic Four and is far more popular than I! Ah, but if only everyone knew that I was the Super-Skrull! Then ... but what am I saying? If my true identity were known, Anndme would be vulnerable to my enemies, and J-mission would assign his strife-bots to my destruction! Oh, if only fate had not decreed that I would become the Super-Skrull ..."
WHAM!
And the toughness of the Invisible Girl, Storm, Ant-Man and the Scarlet Witch doesn't keep him from being knocked flying, senseless, by Spider-Man's flying feet!
Spider-Man is now alone on the melted metal slope. The Skrull overseers driving the red insect-men to greater efforts on the purple glass mines pause, afraid to approach Spider-Man when he just clobbered a Super-Skrull. Albeit a tormented one.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteSPIDER MAN
ReplyDeleteSpider man writes in cursive with webbing on the black fortress: "The Ad-Hoc Coalition of Champions was here!"
(Spidey wonders if 'Spiderman and His Amazing Friends' would have sounded better. Hmmmm...)
Then he will swing to the other side of the black fortress. He sneaks inside and looks around.
Spidey wonders how much time has passed on Earth. Is the photo he promised J Jonah Jaimeson overdue? Is his rent overdue? Did his date Mary Jane overdue? Did he miss Professor Conner's take home do-over test overdue? Is anything else overdue?
Am I over due for a vacation?
SPIDER MAN
DeleteSpidey feels bad for the name he picked, because now the pathetic superskrull he just met is the Superskrull for the Ad Hoc Coalition of Champions. What a lame thing to be a superskrull of!
At least it is better than being the superskrull of a nameless hodgepodge of random heroes. (Wait. Isn't that what the Defenders are...?)
Super-Skrull Defenders has the powers of Dr. Strange, the Hulk, the Silver Surfer, and who the heck else even matters because DR. STRANGE, THE HULK, and THE SILVER SURFER! Not a bad thing to be Super Skrull of ...
ReplyDelete