Menu of DANGER!

It's the Avengers' turn to host the monthly meeting of The Boys, which is Tony Stark's name for the five most powerful leaders on Earth. No, not the President – the most POWERFUL leaders on Earth. They are:

Reed Richards, leader of the Fantastic Four

Professor Xavier, leader of the X-Men

Tony Stark, leader of the Avengers

Namor, Prince of Atlantis

And Dr. Stephen Strange, Master of the Mystic Arts and Sorceror Supreme

(Reed calls this group “The Monthly Group”, as you might expect. Professor Xavier calls it “The Symposium” and Namor calls it “The War Council.” Dr. Strange calls his colleagues “The Illuminati”, which coming from the Enlightened One himself, is quite a compliment.

While they’re discussing this month’s crises, Avengers Base is not entirely silent. Storm, one of Xavier’s most trusted X-Men, flew the Professor here in the X-Jet. She is waiting to fly him back.

Susan Storm, the Invisible Girl, is there because Reed often forgets to leave after the meeting and spends the night doing math in his head. She’s there to remind him.

Spider-Man and Ant-Man came along because Iron Man asked them. The Boys might need to know about their spider- and ant-senses, neither of which Stark fully understands, for a case they’re watching.

And the Scarlet Witch is there because, like the Vision and the Falcon, she lives on base.

The Avengers dining hall is open 24/7, with one of Tony Stark’s master chefs on hand. The kitchen, as the Scarlet Witch has seen, is enormous, with one of everything and two of almost everything.

It’s been about two hours. Sue and Storm know this is about average for an Illuminati meeting, but it’s everyone else’s first time.

Everyone knows everyone else by reputation, but I don’t think anyone’s actually been introduced. Perhaps Stark will get around to doing that afterward.

Spider-Man’s spider-sense tingles. Are they talking about him in there? Is he about to get fired from the Avengers? Will he still get his last check for the part of the week he’s already put in? Because it’s the first of the month next week, and the rent’s due …

Perhaps not, because with a gush of red seething energy, the hallway leading to the secure conference room EXPLODES!

Alarms hoot. Sirens blare. Firefighting nozzles spray icy foam from the ceiling. A squad of men in SHIELD black combat uniforms rush past, only to be blown back down the corridor like dry leaves.

Someone, or something, is in there with the Boys!

Then the kitchen ceiling collapses in a shower of debris. The chef, working on Spider-Man’s grilled cheese sandwich, is hit between the shoulders by a chunk of concrete the size of a softball, and he grunts, collapsing onto the grill.

Through the haze of concrete dust and smoke, a wild-eyed figure lunges in from above, red energy dots orbiting around his hands.

He is made of purple metal, with silver bands around his neck, shoulders, wrists, hips, and ankles. His face is a solid oval of peach-colored plastic with vague, mannequin-ish features sculpted on, and his eyes are two solid ovals of burning red.

“Fleshy garbage!” he shrieks mechanically, a feat previously thought impossible. “You soak in your own madness and expect the cosmos to obey your random biological whims? Well, WHIM THIS!”

And both his hands extend out from his wrists on silver mechanical extension poles, punching toward Spidey and Ant-Man. They’re coming very fast, and are also glowing with red energy dots.

Sue, Storm, Spider-Man and Ant-Man are sitting at nearby tables in the cafeteria. Spider-Man may well be sitting right next to someone, crowding their personal space.

Wanda, the Scarlet Witch, has just walked in here. She has a TV; she knows who Sue Storm, Storm, Spider-Man and Ant-Man are. But apart from meeting Ant-Man that once, she hasn’t really talked to any of them yet.

But now she’s got to talk fast, before Spider-Man and Ant-Man get their faces punched in!