Saturday, October 15, 2016

Interview With the Brute

On Counter-Earth:

Sue says, "I am here to save the Brute, also called Dr. Reed Richards, and the Man-Wolf, also called Col. John Jameson. They have to be led back to reality. Please help me."

"But this is reality ... Susan," says Dr. Reed Richards from behind her.

He looks as Reed should, albeit with less gray at his temples. He's even holding his musty old pipe, like he used to! He hasn't smoked since the accident.

"Indeed, it is as if a layer of obscuring film has been stripped away, allowing us to more clearly perceive reality as it actually is," he says. "I see now, however, that the nature of the universe is several layers removed from the realm of the phenomenal. As you know, I used to think that mathematical physics would reveal the final secrets of creation, but now I see there is much I failed to take into account."

"And, of course, in this disembodied realm, I am no longer driven mad by my cosmic-ray-riddled brain and body. So on the whole, thank you, but I prefer the Soul Stone to the world I leave behind."

"Well, I don't!" exclaims John Jameson. "The Man-Beast likes this place just fine -- he can hunt all night and never die! But me, I'm getting out of here. Come on, Miss Storm."

He walks a few paces into another continental biome, snow-whipped and jagged-floored, with bizarre Northern Lights clashing in a red-black sky. Actually, the sky is only red to the east -- over half the overhead vault is filled with a colossal red sun.

"This alien fellow was working on a rocket ship when he arrived here. The matter in this place isn't entirely fake -- our minds shape it, but not immediately, and there seem to be certain rules we can't break. But the alien -- he doesn't speak any language I know, so I'm not even sure of his name -- has been making a lot of attempts, so we've crossed off a whole pile of approaches that we know won't work."

"I asked Dr. Richards to help, but he's over the moon not to be the Brute any more. So he's out. I don't think we can take him with us, sorry ... and anyway, he's not really your Reed Richards, is he?"

"So what do you say, Miss Storm? Want to bust out of death's waiting room on a rocket ship with Marvin the Martian and me?"

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  2. INVISIBLE GIRL

    She says to evil Reed, "Reed! You are the bravest, smartest, best man on counter earth! Your body can be cured! And.. and ... there may be someone out there for you! There are infinite times lines! I am sure the Watcher can find one where your destined mate is waiting, pining, thinking of you.

    "Or maybe ... " (Sue realizes that here Reed may have been driven permanently insane by the wrath stone)"... someone not so far out there... Please come back.

    "Maybe we can store your consciousness in a hideous computerized body like Quasimodo for a while, until you grow a new, undamaged one, and figure out how to download yourself into it. You are the man who won the space race singlehandedly.

    "You are smarter than the good and kind Dr Doom of counterearth! You are heroic, handsome, and brave! You can solve ANY PROBLEM!! Come with us, and live! Escape this false paradise!"

    Then, whether he says yes or no, she turns to the Caterpillar, and says, "I need your help. The whole universe is about to be turned into the realm of death. If you are one of those ultracosmic, ultrapowerful beings like Galactus, or the Stranger, or the Watcher, or the Celestials, or the Living Tribunal, you should use that ultrapower for ultragoodness, to aid our cause in stopping Thanos, the mad Titan!

    "Can you help us return out of the Soul Gem back to reality? If you are a being here in the soul world, you must know that all souls, all lives, are infinitely precious!"

    She will then turn to John Jameson, and say, "Yes, I am ready to leave. We have not a moment to spare!"

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